Years Better Erased than Written

I have enough words to tell you I don’t have anything to say,

Not now and not ever again.

 

What’s the point?

What does it matter?

Does anyone actually value being literate,

Or is it merely a convenience?

 

Buried in megapixels,

Whored out for micro SDs,

If only you had a brain.

 

For the fact that change has occurred,

Life remains the same;

Yet because hardly anything is the same,

It’s only then we recognize there has been any change.

 

D          I         E


 

 

Compromised Focus

Screaming in basements to avoid being heard,

Typing out thoughts so patience doesn’t have to be tested,

It’s all become so routine;

Figuring out how to make the loudest noise yet remain concealed

In an absent-minded and loud world.

Exhausted at the resonance of criticism,

Flattened by the glare of chosen ignorance,

My disdain for sleep is tested by my stronger desire to avoid people.

While my body will be in far worse pain if I lay down uselessly,

It’s better than the pain of being surrounded by people

whose interactions feel like they’re done out of duty rather than hospitality.

Why believe you’re in a group when the people make you feel lonely?

Why sit next to someone who seems as though they’re deaf to your voice only?

I’m confused as to what relationships are actually supposed to do,

Especially since people seem to favor conversations on screens involving icons and abbreviations,

Rather than human engagement and sound.

Why should I see you in person when I can see you just fine on my phone screen?


Don’t waste your touch You won’t feel anything

 

 

Au revoir, à mon coeur et à mon âme

Walking pathways of death as respectful as one is able,

You find an occasional numb in the midst of being overwhelmed or unknowing of what to do and how to feel.

Faces of those who might know the area as home are illumined and regarded,

Faces of those visiting are studied as well out of curiosity,

And then those who are seeking a new home in this unfamiliar land;

They are the ones who you do your best to assure they have been seen,

While the world may seemingly pass them by.

In a world on edge,

Below ground can be a place to find peace.

When walking caverns that have become hallowed halls of history,

A certain stillness is found even when actively observing your surroundings;

knowing you’ve temporarily escaped the chaos and noise of society above.

In refining one’s self, you find that you also lose pieces of your “self”;

It makes you wonder if it’ll all be worthwhile,

or if it will be just another phase or season.

Something meant for a scrapbook rather than a defining step forward as a human,

Compulsion rather than immersion.

My critical eyes have been poked many times over,

But I believe the time has come to gouge them out.

For I’d rather gain knowledge blindly and objectively,

then have the privilege of sight but also the handicap of unneeded critique.

With bones dislocated, emotions suppressed or dead, and a mind rather empty;

What good would I pose as just another spoon fed oaf?

As I prepare to leave,

I don’t have a final destination.

As the mirror reflects a face that is familiar,

I don’t immediately acknowledge it as my own.

Maybe a shadow of someone I knew,

Or someone I’d rather forget I met.

Just a sketch of someone or something,

From a place no longer existent.

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Misunderstanding Guaranteed

 

One hand open and the other closed in a fist,

Offensively prepared in order to defend.

Straightened out after almost dying,

But why does it have to be that mortality is the only reason to try and make sense?

 

I’m amazed at what my eyes have seen,

But all the more amazed at how limited I am in perspective and insight.

My trust is much like when I try to hold your hand,

Strained at best; painful and unsure, uneasily making an effort for something desired and also frightening.

Cold winds have become a pleasure in this life with almost constant muscle pain;

While the stiffness is enhanced, it reminds me of the privilege is to be alive.

Humanity is a strange activity more often than not,

The closer you come to dying;

You may end up feeling more alive.

 

Walking a sidewalk is more akin to swimming in a sea of misinterpretation,

Surrounded by floundering intentions and emotions.

Masked attendants stand at corners waiting to cross the street,

When they can’t even understand how to interact with another human being.

Any questions?

Don’t expect an answer.

—————————————————–

 

 

“I’m Christian”

What do you mean when you say, “I’m Christian”?

Does that mean you go to church every sunday?

Does it mean you go on Easter and Christmas and give money if you have change in your pocket?

Do you even know God?

Do you want to?

Unfortunately the answers to most of these questions in respect to the Christian majority,

Are quite blurry and varied it seems.

Do we really want God to be known for making nothing but ignorant people except for when it comes to schemes?

Schemes on how to start a cult, judge all of mankind, and starting multi-million dollar brands all in the name of God?

Because if this really is what it means to be a “Christian”,

Count me out.

You may ask what God I mean,

And I’ll kindly tell you that I mean the only one that actually exists.

The one who with many names, three persons who are all united as one, and the one who is the main focus of probably one of the most scrutinized yet demanded books worldwide.

The one they call Yahweh,YHWH, or Elohim.

A Savior, A Martyr, A Father, A Friend, A King.

A Creator, Sustainer, Innovator, Inventor, Doctor, etc. .

That is who I mean,

And no he’s not distant.

He’s here with me,

Even as I write this for your eyes to see.

From Attila to Zadok,

Benedetto to Yael;

He is the holy designer of all people and things!

I’m not concerned with religion, ritual, denomination, pastor, or priest,

Confession, rosaries, beads, books, theologies, or doctrines.

My main concern is the person, God.

Knowing who He is and being interested in knowing him the way I would my other friends.

To those who have been hurt by “christians” or “church people”,

Please accept my apology if you would.

We still can’t seem to figure out who our neighbor is,

So we do a lame job at loving our neighbor as ourself.

To those offended, questioning, or pushed away simply because you had a different view;

Accept my apology, to you I make this plea.

Christian or not, if we can’t see eye to eye instantly

we often shoot words without thinking.

Lastly, to all the “christians”:

Check out Matthew 16:24-25,

And talk to the God you “believe” in about what your like inside and out.

But don’t forget, God does respond.

So remember to pause, be silent for a bit, wait patiently, and listen.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

 “And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And He said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this and you will live.” 29 But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

The Good Samaritan(30-37)

30 Jesus replied and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. 31 And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32 Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, 34 and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’ 36 Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’hands?” 37 And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.” Then Jesus said to him,“Go and do the same.” Luke 10:25-37 NASB