Walking streets that seem as familiar as my bedroom,
And somehow feeling like a stranger or unwelcome intruder.
Being assured by strangers that they aren’t trying to beat me up,
And laughing at the fact that they think that’s a good start to a conversation.
I used to feel,
Feel a variety of emotions;
I’m not saying I’ve become numb despite previous attempts,
But the sensation has dulled or seems harder to detect.
I know how to smile for appearances but not sincerely,
I know how to yell and slam my fist but my anger seems convoluted and lost.
I’m fine with the mortal shell I’ve been given,
But is there a way I can disown whatever the hell it is that I’ve known to be “me”?
How can I find someone to be with,
When I don’t know how to feel together on my own?
It not that I want to be anyone else,
And I don’t necessarily desire to not be myself;
What may be the actual question,
Is who am I?