Entranced by familiarity once despised,
Not because anything likeable has been found;
But because your visceral feelings are now faded memories.
Empty and cold.
Only the debris remains.
wishing it could’ve been done secretly.
Arriving while absent,
Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions with more hate than ever before
while remaining too exhausted to care.
My mind and the sky are twins today;
Cloudy, dark, and unwilling to change.
It’s been 3 months now,
And there is no time limit in sight;
However, implications of a grave future are melodramatic at best.
Adjustments are needed,
Continued change is somehow stunted but looking possible to start again;
The way we thought it was “back then”,
When things were “exactly how they should be”.
What a damned, filthy lie that was.
I could say I’m out of options,
But what would that do or say of my character?
I could wait for something “to happen”;
But that languorous state of being has brought me to this present moment.
“Where do I start?”, some might say.
Just start from exactly where you are at this moment,
And don’t stop until you arrive …
Somewhere, as long as it is not here.