Heart to Heart, & Fist to Fist

Screaming because you have no air to breathe,

As counterproductive as it seems,

Is sometimes the most satisfying thing to do;

Because you may have actually been heard.

When you begin to speak or act out of character,

Differently than how people “know” you to be,

Is it only peer pressure or is it blindness?

Is it really different, or is it something no one ever looked for?

Paid attention to?

Hugging strangers after long conversations of family,

Punching strangers after no exchange beyond eye contact was made;

Community or a lack thereof can result in many things.

Some of which,

If not most of which,

May never be understood.

Whether punch drunk or similarly hearted,

Brought together through pain or joy;

Even in our finest moment as a lone ranger

we typically need someone,

We’ll mistake it for needing someThing.

We don’t need more things,

More material to take up living space that is nonexistent

because you don’t receive life from being surrounded by inanimate objects!

Life is something lived, shared, spent, sometimes divided, often sacrificed,

The list can go on;

But the point here and now,

Is that we need one another.

As the self proclaimed lone wolf,

I admit it,

The “game” is over.

But I know I didn’t lose,

Because by realizing I need others;

I’m starting to realize who I am too.

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Those last few lines aren’t just content, that’s my way of admitting my own stubbornness. I think of my dare I say “brother in arms” Robb Flynn of Machine Head as he introduced the song below which speaks of the at times God-sized hold we all as humans seem to have or least feel as though we have at some point in our lives; that he tells of offering “salvation”. While I believe that salvation as it’s defined – a source or means of being saved from harm, ruin, or loss- can only really be found in God, the “savior” talked about in the above song(Music) is definitely something that has & probably always be significant to me. It was an honor to chant out riff of Darkness Within among all the other fans attending an Evening with Machine Head last night, but it didn’t feel like that until I saw Robb smile the way he did as we all went about clapping and chanting out the riff for about the fifth time in a row. I don’t imagine Robb would have ever predicted that moment some 24 years ago as he started Machine Head, let alone 30 years ago as he started playing with the guys in Forbidden Evil(more widely known as Forbidden), but I am grateful to have been present to physically try & embody gratitude as a community unto Robb & really all of Machine Head. To sum it up, again, we need one another. It doesn’t matter if you’re 2, 22, 47, or 113- we need each other.

Leave No Trace

On the run,

What direction is the correct one?

When there isn’t really anyone to follow,

Or at least it seems maybe too many to choose;

This isn’t really an easy question to answer.

Doing nothing is the only clearly wrong answer,

But I don’t even know if I’m asking the right question.

The masses are attempting to come together,

While the “select few” seem to be scattering.

Why do we consider university a high point of life,

When unity and diversity are seen as too much work?

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The Walking Sick

Screaming in the ear of a heavy sleeper,

Hoping to awaken their senses which seem to slumber much deeper.

Moved & confused,

Admitting a lack of understanding

and yet being offered nothing more but confidence in my lack.

How am I to learn, without a teacher?

Shaking as I wander the hall,

In a fog of blindness;

Or at least my vision was not that of reality.

Seeing fantastically horrific things,

Both remembered & imagined;

I wonder & question,

Just how I’ve arrived here and why it’s taken me this long to ask?

Should I, as I’ve done so often, just flee;

leaving everything in the dust behind me?

For this I feel is not the answer,

But there doesn’t seem to be any other solution offered in its place.

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Anxious Attraction

Heart racing faster than expected or desired,

Sweat is beginning to dampen your brow;

And yet you’re feeling the rush of a breeze hit your face.

Suddenly, you want to run.

Your mind is a five lane highway of feelings and emotion,

And currently there’s a ten car pile up causing some serious delays.

Even worse,

You don’t really know how it happened.

That’s right,

The crash of your senses

was as much of a surprise to you as it was to your psyche.

It’s if you had so much anxiety, that it calmed you down.

That is

Until now.

When your insides are turning against you,

In ways both visible and not.

Neither is good or preferred at all,

But oddly enough it’s the invisible trouble that seems so much more encompassing.

Only intensified by the fact that you’re not aware of how to stop that which is consuming your attention.

Tension is the main compromise of your attention,

Intentionally you try to find a diversion;

Only to be consumed again, this time by distraction.

Asking all the wrong questions,

To which you hear only the right answers;

Why bother trying?

If you tried asking this though,

You’d be putting on a show or lying.

Move on and get cleaned up,

Sometimes life is messy and downright ugly;

But really, you just need to stop shaking and look straight ahead.

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Psalm 2215

You’re infinite yet we try describing you in three

Father, Son & Holy Ghost- blessed Trinity

Our need for you is endless,

You’re the only one that can make us righteous.

You’re uncontainable,

Yet we try to box you in.

You’re the lion of Judah,

But we tend to only remember you as the slain lamb.

You’re alive and definitely active,

Yet why does it seem your believers are the ones most convinced you’re dead?

Walking Over & Out of Time

Voices making so much noise they eventually sound like a hiss,

The hiss of an animal or nails jaggedly scrawling down a chalkboard.

It’s a shame how age has little to no significance in relation to maturity;

When an elders speech is similar to that of bile being spit up by a drunk,

youth seems like the privilege it’s made out to be.

Flustered by the fewest questions,

Unable to establish focus in the midst of a crumbling vision.

When it seems most of what you see is negative or hideous,

Being blind suddenly changes from being considered a disability to that of a gift.

Jerking your body like an epileptic,

The only release that feels appropriate;

Appropriate in the sense that it’s your way of trying to control your own fury.

Tear ducts have become time bombs,

Reasoning has become a chore even within myself.

Callouses and bruises are signs of productivity,

Blood stains are the adult equivalent to a child being given a gold star at school.

Then again, I may just be a bit punch drunk and aggressive at the moment.

No reason to get violent.

Besides, my face is withered enough as it is from exhaustion.

Someone pounding my face like a mallet for steak,

That is the least of my needs.