New driver, same car

Sometimes your body gives out;

And other times nothing makes sense, even if it should.

Familiarity doesn’t mean understanding,

Just the same way a pulse doesn’t mean you’re living.

 

Yes, if our heart is thumping to a natural beat

at a tempo reasonable enough for it operate;

Life is present in our bodily shell.

But, unless you choose to not be asleep in the cocoon of your past

or off floating away into what is your ideal future;

Your present will live on without you.

Presence is the key to the present.

 

Days come and days go,

All our numbered in some degree.

Don’t make clocks an enemy,

But befriend the sands of time respectfully.

Once its fallen through the grasp of your hands,

There is no making amends.

Let us be serious though,

In that it’s doubtful that time has ever had a lifelong friend.

 

Sometimes when we change,

Whether it be our appearance or ideas/values,

We feel as though we are new.

Then this “newness” is often confronted with something familiar,

And we’re able to see while there are new parts

we’re still the same people.

Just the same way you can replace lightbulb;

Once the light is functional again,

it doesn’t make the lamp new as well.

Choose to be actively present,

Much like the newly installed lightbulb,

Aware & involved in that which is your one & only life.

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“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”
“If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.”

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.”-Various quotes from Bruce Lee(Actor,Author,Martial Artist, Philosopher)

On the North Sea Shore

Sometimes I feel calm like a bomb,

While never showing it.

“Just move along”,

But now there is no ignoring it.

 

A month has come and gone,

In a place I’d never been before.

New people, languages, climate, and more;

I guess had a few expectations but had no clue was in store.

The days that have passed and even those remaining in this time frame,

Leave me wondering how I’m not leaving the same;

It’s as if I’ve changed more than could have expected,

In fact, I have.

Realizations both exciting & difficult,

Letting the fire of past frustration turn to ash.

A wind blows, both soothing and painful;

And I stand to let it hit my bodily frame in feeling my humanity.

My limitedness, my strength in frailty.

I’m at a loss for words,

Now only because I have too much to say.

Still hard to find an audience,

But I’m not nearly as concerned as I was previously.

 

The value of solitude has arisen.

And my thoughts ,while not organized, are beginning to be sorted through.

What’s next?

I have an idea,

But truly don’t know.

The nomad flies again,

Like a phoenix blazing through the northern sky..

And from the ashes, I rise.

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Friend?

Fear is present,

Ridiculousness as well.

Is the fear of something that is supposed to bring joy,

Enriching my life?

Not even a little bit.

Distinctly, and unfortunately, this word has inspired fear for many a years.

 

Friend.

 

It’s as if I can hear a trembling in my voice,

When this word is vocalized through the voice box God opened inside me.

And the worst part is that my concern is mostly unjustifiable,

Thankfully.

Sure, it was convenient as a teenager to say that Music was my “best friend”.

But, an art form is not at all comparable to the care given from one soul to another in friendship.

Yes, I have been hurt and I probably will be again in the future by “friends”.

Does this mean I should just give up,

Never try or trust anyone again?

Resign to a life of solitude,

Not from a place of seeking inner peace,

But from a place of letting inner torment consume me?

 

I’m of a faith tradition that tells of a person,

A person who was fully God and fully man.

At a time in his life where he needed friends most,

Those closest to him betrayed him in various ways all leading to his untimely death.

He miraculously came back to life,

And what did he do when he confronted these friends?

He gathered with them seeking continued relationship, a few different times, and once even prepared a meal for them.

And so, while my life is surely different, if I’m to live out the faith I profess in speech;

I want to be marked also by this unending, pure, loving loyalty.

 

Lord, teach me how to both be a friend and have friends.

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“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and [a]foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. 17 This I command you, that you love one another.” John 15:12-17

To Deny your Past Tortures your Present, and Slows Down your Future

Have you ever wanted to smash your head through a window?

Not out of some trivial or narcissistic self loathing,

But more to see if your head really could break the window?

 

Have you ever needed to scream,

Such a need it feels like your whole body needs to scream,

That it caused you to run to find a pillow to let the thunderous scream out upon?

 

Just because you’ve had some harder times in previous years

Doesn’t mean you should, in a sense, try to erase your past.

Learn from that which seems useful to contemplate,

Resolve that which hurts you deeply,

& treasure that which enriches your memory.

In the midst of darkness,

Light can and will break through when allowed to.

Let the light of truth shine on the times you never want to forget,

Before you let surrounding circumstances choke out a memory better saved than lost.

 

Certainly Doubtful

To the artist disgusted with the “state” of art in their culture,

To the writer in painful need of new words or phrases,

To the painter who wonders how the once vibrant world of color has become gray;

I ask you one simple question.

Are you willing to change your point of view?

Maybe it’s time to collaborate with other people who also create within the same medium of art as yourself.

Maybe you need to take a break, rest a while.

Maybe you need to ask for help.

Whatever the situation may be,

You must first become fully aware of the situation to know your needed action.

Awareness will drive you beyond the blurred reality you currently inhabit.

Assess what your influences are or aren’t.

Is it time to read the book or see the film you vowed to never read or watch?

Is it simply time for you to sleep more than usual?

Wake up earlier, or later?

Be concerned primarily with the redundancy you have authored,

And then take intentional actions to change it.

Even if you aren’t sure,

The possibility of failure is the same as the possibility of success.

Sometimes we can’t be certain, and thankfully there are times when we aren’t doubtful.

But, I think especially in times of change;

We must move forward, certainly doubtful.