Reminiscing?

I try to not reminisce,

It’s not that I hate it or at least I don’t anymore.

But I don’t ever want feel unavailable to now,

And consumed by the past.

It unfortunately seems,

There are some that choose this path.

A path of reminiscing and wishing,

Whining, regretting, and ultimately disappointing.

I could easily say how much I miss things that were once a daily vision,

A sight to behold at almost any moment of my choice.

But what good would it do,

For me or you?

Even as I write,

I feel so redundant.

It’s not that I’m uninspired,

But I’m hungry for a new audience.

In some ways;

I long for the childhood fantasy of not being seen, by those I can’t see on my own,

to be real.

Except for the fact I wouldn’t mind not being seen,

By some of the people I see most often.

Give them time wonder where I am and how I’ve been,

A bit of room to reminisce if need be.

A sick question that bugs me;

Why is it that those we often reminisce about,

Are the people who don’t want anything to with us?

Why is it so much easier to have a fondness for those who are far out of reach,

Instead of appreciating who’s in front of us?

Why do we voluntarily live in the past,

With not much hope or care about the future let alone the present?

There is a time for rejoicing and mourning,

Waking, breathing, and reminiscing even sleeping.

But we must not waste our one life away,

Only to wake up on our final day

still caught up with

Reminiscing.

Resting Restlessly

I may be laid out flat,

But I’m scrambling for motion within.

My mind is shutting down,

This unsettled feeling is sometimes the only thing keeping me awake.

 

3 am…

Lying in bed, unable to sleep.

The desire is there,

But the desire hasn’t become reality.

 

I’d rather go to bed at noon,

Than go to bed at midnight.

But why should I even wonder about this?

 

My head is a car with a brick on the gas,

But my body is out of fuel.

If only my words were spoken & heard,

My mind wouldn’t feel like a fallen baby bird.

 

Memories and Dreams

Why is it the past and future are focused on obsessively,

When we can’t even focus on the present moment?

We look back wondering what if,

We look ahead wondering what can be,

But how do we look at today?

Do we even value it?

Is it just easier to wish you were in a time past or future,

That the present has lost it’s value?

Don’t stop dreaming,

And don’t erase your memories.

Please, don’t.

But,please learn to appreciate today as well.

If you’re so caught up in what happened years ago,

Or what could happen in a week,

The moment you’ve been offered to make a memory

has been ignored.