The Squeak of a Dryer

Tumbling from side to side,

Wet, heavy, and wrinkled;

I feel like a shirt struggling to release the water.


And yet,

The crazier I am

And the more I run

I’m distracted by the barrel of a gun.

But why?

Life is so, so, so?

Life is .. life.

It’s beautiful, and it can be ugly.

It’s wonderful, and it can be painful.

It’s fascinating, and it thankfully has some moments of boredom.

But no matter what it is, it still is LIFE.


Feeling like I’ve lost my mind,

Almost as much as I’ve lost keys or papers,

But I have no reason to die.

God’s faithfulness doesn’t stop,

It’s our faithless eyes that stop looking for it.



The Facts

The fact is, life can be both as difficult or wonderful as we make it.

The fact is, illness slows you down but it doesn’t stop you.

The fact is, feeling sorry for yourself isn’t very beneficial.

The fact is, I don’t know all the facts and don’t have a desire to.

I could yell in anger, groan in pain and fear, smile in some supposed state of joy;

But what difference does it make if it’s fake?

Nothing but an illusion,

A mask of delusion.

War has been going on all the time as of late,

Between change and the enemy of stagnant self-hate.

A flurry of blame shifting,

Nothing is more sickening.

Responsibilities put aside temporarily,

Lies of failure infiltrate in.

Pestilential in nature,

But victory is a possibility.

It may be hard to see,

But I refuse to be my own worst enemy.

G-d, as always, I need your help but it seems to be in a different way than ever before.

And I’m sorry that the main reason it has felt like you haven’t been around,

Is because I wouldn’t let you in.

Or ran away scared,

Feeling unworthy.

The fact is, while you’ve always called me son

I’m just starting to learn what that means.


“See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be calledchildren of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we willsee Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:1-3 NASB

Pg. 131

Hi, wait a minute..

Who am I?

Sorry, I wanted to meet you,

It seems I’ve forgotten my name.

My birthplace, face,

I sometimes wonder if I’m even a part of the human race.

But when I’m not being melodramatically,


I ultimately don’t know how to introduce myself.

But, tis not because of slip in the mind.

Not even because of damage to my brain or eyes.

But because of transformation started beyond my control,

Completely needed,

And frightening as well as exciting.

It’s like I woke up as who I thought I was,

And then slept only to wake up to a stranger.

Completely different,

Yet similar to whoever was around before.


The Trust;

And the trust is astounding,

My heart’s irregular beats are resounding.

Pounding like a gun in my head,

Almost loud enough to wake the live and dead


In this world filled with gray,

We attribute evil words to the only true example of holiness

And claim we can simultaneously be Unforgiving AND Righteous.

What are we seeing,

Aside from a shrouded illusion.

Awaken, oh presumptuous one.

The one who thought their identity was dead,

But actually never sought identity until they were lost;

Lost in something or someone they weren’t made to be,

Made to know or even try seeing.

From the darkness of your pupils,

A glimmer has entered your once rock-like eyes.

Breaking bad the will power that is “needed” to be good,

Since it’s never been a battle of flesh & blood

Let alone will.

Keep fighting,

Restore honor,

Make amends.

Come fully to your end,

To only realize you are just beginning.

It’s time,

Time to separate the truth from the lies.