Back to the Futile?

Shall I just curl up and die?

Cry, wail, and mourn much like the hired mourner of ancient days.

Should I stare aimlessly at the wall,

In defeat and the bitterness of it all?

Why?

Why in the world should the fact that I’ve encountered difficulty,

Give me the right to essentially burden the world at large?

Why is it that we assume if we’re having a bad day,

Those who encounter our bad attitude have to “deal with it”?

Why is it that instead of rising up for justice,

We instead cry out because our favorite television show is ending?

Fallen like rag doll,

Rising up in a new form.

Broken but recovering,

Instead of just broken;

Damaged goods for no good.

If I falter,

If I choose to return to past mistakes,

Please revile me until my dying day.

I’ll listen to your criticisms,

But it won’t define me.

Lord, turn up the flame.

Have your way,

Continue to refine me.

Through Heaven on earth,

& even days that feel akin to Sheol,

I know I can trust in you alone.

On Stilts

As I look ahead,

Staring into the guts of the walls.

As If I can see beyond the paint and primer,

The core of the structure.

I see a certain hope,

Amidst a bleak cloud trying to overtake the vision;

Not much different from the sun breaking through clouds,

On a day where light is hard to come by.

My eyes wince in pain,

And my heart races.

I suddenly feel faint,

Unable to stand any longer.

Lay me down this night,

But if I shouldn’t rise again,

Let me go home to the light.

Let not my rest bring mourning,

But let it provoke thought and appreciation.

Thoughts of what is important and what we are to hold dear,

Appreciation for those far and near.

Remember, though, without a foundation

it is all worthless.

A life lived on stilts,

is ridiculous.

May the future be rooted and lit,

Brought to life by the King Christ.

Once dead,

Now surely alive.

Gain from Loss

Was I born to lose,

Or was I born with my group just being too loose?

If there’s something I’ve learned about loss,

It is that I gain.

I gain in the midst of suffering loss,

The right timing comes not when you count cost;

But when you can afford the cost counted.

Body aches and verbal mistakes,

It’s all done with now.

There are people who have said they would see me again,

Who I’m glad to say haven’t.

There are friends,

I sometimes wish didn’t know my name.

But then again, who are they to say that we’re friends?

 

As another door is shut,

It is usually said or expected another will open.

I didn’t say what I wanted to say,

But for some reason it still feels like it was the best thing for today.

For the pulse inside me hasn’t stopped pumping

Thankfully, because it’s time to get moving.

 

NEUBlAcKK

My roots are developing,

The dirt is hard and in need of being broken down.

As I look the broken earth,

I’m reminded of my own figure.

As of late it has felt frail or weak,

Depending on the perspective of the observer.

Amidst the frailty, I believe strength is being gained as well.

I was shown this perspective by the horn of a rhino.

It was rusty, sprinkled with dust of the earth.

Cracked slightly and jagged, but still strong.

Even if there seems to be difficulty and pain,

I’m believing I’m ready to act.

Prepared for what’s coming,

Even if it’s still unknown.