So young, strong, and vibrant I’m supposed to be;
Yet it hurts to even stand from the chair where I’m sitting.
Bending my mind to try comprehending,
Why at such a young age I hate to have my joints bending.
As I feel the waves,
Waves of sound washing over me…
These waves are some of the only reliable soothing I’ve ever known.
I can honestly say I don’t know what I’m feeling.
In some ways I have no interest in knowing,
But I do want it to stop.
Pain, I don’t mind.
Even agony is quite an experience to learn from.
But what is now,
is just confusing.
Trying to move forward when it feels as though I’ve forgotten how to walk,
Needing to speak when I’ve forgotten how to talk.
Because God is with me,
This I know,
To him I say;
God, please reform my soul.