It is not okay…

It is not okay…

That the word relationship to you is empty,

Family is nothing but an illusion,

And that the slurs that degrade you are easier to respond to rather than your actual name.

It’s not okay that you don’t see,

Beauty in anyone or anything but especially yourself,

Because beauty has been defiled in your eyes.

It’s not okay that value is determined by the who, what, how, & where.

Who-do you know, What-do you do & know, How-did you get it, & Where-are you from?

Your value is in you, from the moment of conception

With this idea there shouldn’t be a need of inception.

But the fact that so many walk with their heads hanging low,

And their value even lower; this is not okay!

Dismay & okay, they rhyme.

Don’t they.

Even when I said it was okay about me being called fat, freak, weird, stupid, fag/gay;

Really, at least the first time, I was in dismay.

But when it became constant,

It had only become okay because I saw myself as just something to be thrown away.

When you want to cry for joy because somebody remembered your name,

And not the name the jock who threatened to beat you up gave you yesterday;

It’s not okay.

When our society needs to have initiatives of disease epidemic size put in place,

To try to restore the safety of a child’s identity, body, & face;

It is not okay.

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While doubtful, if you haven’t heard about this already please read this news story.-http://abcnews.go.com/US/bailey-oneill-12-dead-weeks-school-bullying/story?id=18649201

I want to dedicate this piece I’ve written to the memory of Bailey, he never should have gone through the bullying he did. I may not know the full story & although I wrote it before I knew of this story, but as one who was bullied for many years this is another example sadly of why I’m able to write a piece like this. My condolences to the O’Neill family.

Kingdom Days

The value of a day has been lost,

Yet a year is seen as defining.

If we can’t value 24 hours,

How can we act like we value all 365 days of a year?

 

As I approach the “beginning” of a new year,

I’m shocked I’ve made it this far:

The funny thing about this distance in life,

is the constant reminder of my youth.

As young as I am in the eyes of the aged,

I feel older than they will ever see me.

 

So many ideas,

So few moments.

We can have moments inevitably,

Or we can take hold of the moments so they serve a purpose.

 

As I sit with the world spinning,

I’m glad the roles never do reverse.

Even if it feels like it when in the midst of chaos,

I know I’ll stop spinning when I take control of my legs.

 

It’s if you get obsessed with looking back or ahead,

It is then you lose what is right in front of you.

But it’s ultimately for you to choose.

Awareness of life or

Appreciation of life?

 

These are Kingdom come days,

In an evil & perverted age.

 

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So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. 14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing; 15 so that you will prove yourselves to beblameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, 16 holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.” Philippians 2:12-16 NASB

Commissioned

My mind & pen’s partnership ended roughly,

My vocabulary felt like a well gone dry.

Never to be replenished,

Never able to reply.

But…

But God.

The author of creation & my mind,

Also is the author of redemption & brings new life.

As I’m being filled again,

As well as being washed out;

The well is useful again,

To show life & give life.

Speak out!

I’ve been commissioned,

Not to write things of indulgence or depression,

Sadness, hate, greed, lust, or even fate.

I’ve been commissioned to write

About the One who is, who was, & who is to COME!

King Jesus!

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Away

The only thing harder than seeing you walk away,

Is to walk away from you.

Thank you God that you never abandon us,

May we come to know the level of devotion & practice it as you do.

 

I used to say I was “pessimistically optimistic”,

I now see this statement as stupidity.

Whether you agree or not,

Pessimism & optimism are essentially oil & water.

They don’t mix.

 

Please, next time you’re annoyed or frustrated;

Don’t just walk away.

If you’re afraid or simply don’t know what to do;

Stand tall & take a hold of the opportunity before you to be a conqueror.

For times of courage & strengthening often come,

But are then ignored & seen as too much to handle.

No more & not today,

Don’t walk away.

 

As the end approaches,

It’s again a new beginning.

Thank you God for seasons of change,

Help me to grow & learn more about enjoying every part of life.

At Heart

At heart, there is a lot of wants I could be consumed by.

But what would be the use?

Lord, I’m an idiot.

But I’m a jewel in your hands.

Life can be messy,

But the mess hardest to clean is a relationship.

Lord please wash me clean,

In the way only you can.

So that At Heart,

I can finally know LOVE.

Pursuit

From Old to New,

His feet have never stopped moving.

Yet it’s 2013 & we’re still shaking our fists in the sky,

saying aloud God, where are you?

 

He patiently answers,

Where have you been?

Have you been looking for me;

I’ve been with you all your life.

From 1st birthday to the last whenever it comes,

Even the night when you thought no one wanted you..

I was there & waiting for you.

 

I’m a gentleman as much I’m in control,

I will never force you to be with me but know I won’t refuse you either.

Whatever the request, concern, or frustration is;

Don’t hide it from me, feel free to share it.

 

While never stopped pursuing you,

I ask that you don’t take it for granted.

Because again I’m not going to force you,

My love in it’s fulness may have came at a cost

But it ultimately came down to a choice.

 

My son’s life or yours,

& while things didn’t go as I’d planned in the Garden,

I will bear the shame

Not you.

 

For my son, Jesus Christ

He’s alive.

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Nihongo

Over land & sea we flew across the earth,

Arrival commenced & both imagination and expectation were shattered.

Reality has come.

 

These past few weeks I’ve been to a place I never thought I’d go or ever desired to be,

As well as currently being in one of the few places I’ve always wanted to be.

Has it all been great?

No, but I wouldn’t want it to be.

I want experience, not a dream.

 

I’ve grown to love silence for new reasons,

As well as a new hatred for speech.

Bonds strengthened & dissolved;

Sickness of body & mind finally separated & identified.

Change of course.

 

Old friends welcoming even during trying times,

My heart continues to melt.

Farewells in preparation as well tickets to the next destination;

A sun blast through negative perspective.

On the plane again,

That’s where I’m headed.

Essentially on my own again,

& while I did at first,

Less & less I dread it.