Intimacy

Knowing someone from the inside out,

Every detail, every inch, any and everything there is to know about

them.

But this knowledge as private and close as it is,

Doesn’t have to be physical at all in nature.

Intimacy has no gender boundaries or limit of displays,

For the trust and love produced in it goes far beyond the fleshly ways.

Being able to respond to a situation,

Just by seeing one’s facial expression

Can be a sign of intimacy.

Just as much, an embrace like that of a hug

Can also be a sign of intimacy.

But if I may request one thing, only one of all who read these words I plead.

Please don’t let your definition of intimacy begin with touch

And end under the sheets.

For love and trust are so much sweeter than simply being confined to fleshly means.

So please open up your eyes

And see the true value of Intimacy.

Saltwater in the Wound

363 days of the year we’re convinced we have the right to be ungrateful, temperamental, fools.

Only on two institutionalized, traditional holidays are we required to be thankful or have gratitude.

This is PATHETIC.

We’re also told that if we spend either of these days with anyone aside from our relatives through blood or marriage,

That we are to be sad, angry, disappointed, and overall feel like the day just didn’t meet the mark.

This is also PATHETIC!

(rant done, onto writing)

Family will never again be defined by the blood I bleed,

Or promises between two people only occasionally kept.

My family are those who remain with me against all odds,

And the rest may as well just not even try.

We’re not going to always to agree,

But it’s the willingness of agreeing to disagree that I desire.

Live a life of gratitude,

In word, deed, and demeanor/attitude!

Home has also been redefined in that it’s no longer a building,

My home is where I belong at this current moment.

Eyes locked on course,

Straight ahead or side to side never turning back.

This is the life I’m living,

I’m thankful it’s not easy

Because otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it.

Thank God I’m not perfect,

And I never have to be.

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“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14

Psalm 11.18.07

Scars, deep and detailed.

Memories, best forgotten lest we don’t learn from them.

No matter how detrimental or terrorizing,

Living with a thorn in your side isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be.

The funny part about living with a thorn in your side,

Sometimes you don’t realize the only person that can remove it is you.

But you aren’t alone in it either,

So really there isn’t an excuse.

As the cold breath of satan goes down my neck,

I cry to God to help me remove this thorn from my side willingly

And for Him to knock the wind out of satan.

Unworthy, Unholy, Silenced, Hated, Forgotten, Forsaken, Damaged, Angry;

Some of what I used to convince myself could be a good description of me.

Caring,Determined, Meek, Patient, Worthy;

Words I’m willing to use now to describe me.

While I aim to be calm, I won’t settle for being still.

I’m learning to enjoy growing slowly, but I will never again tolerate living stagnantly.

In the city of ghosts and waves crashing as the earth erodes,

The smoke rises again from the burning leaf.

Yet the one night I thought it’d be time,

My head was kicked and no purchase was made of a dime.

But on this unexpected evening,

As weak as I became it was also an event of strengthening.

God, as I’ve continued to grow

I coming closer to know

You.

And yet as I approach this level of closeness,

I know there will be another after it.

In this I’m not frustrated,

But thankful and excited for our relationship.

Thank you there is no limits to my knowing You.

What I once thought was my second chance,

I now see is just my first chance actually being taken.

Thank you God, for giving me a chance.

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Testamental Reflection

God created everything we are and see in six and rested on the seventh,

But I want to make it clear believing in God isn’t about securing your ticket to Heaven.

Moses talked with God & was given the law to both live by and teach,

But not for tyrannical reasons; For the law was given so actual love could be reached.

Yes, as much as it may sound crazy, the law & love of God are synonyms.

They’re tied together for our protection & best interests,

But unless we see this we’ll do a great job at making life a mess.

It may be hard to read history or narratives later found to be fiction,

But through our ancestry & folk tales we find our roots.

As we look at the earthly rulers of lands far & wide, cultures both existent and extinct.

We don’t just get facts and head counts from battle, but if you take the time & a closer look

You begin to analyze character development from a new royal set of eyes.

You learn why seeking answers in the skies, enchantments, divination, & soothsayers

is just a fine way to waste your wealth & time.

Only buying you false hopes and a skewed mind,

But if you learn from example humbling yourself under the only sovereign One

You’ll even enjoy seeing the sun more than you ever had before.

Because it’s no longer your source of “power” or “inspiration”,

But a reminder of how great God is and how beautiful the intricate inner workings are of His creation!

Just as life has seasons, society has trends or cycles.

The cycle of sin was and is a hard one to break,

But God in his love brings judgment to deliver us from the evil we’ve convinced ourselves is good.

We find out God isn’t afraid of our honesty,

It’s us who are afraid of being honest with God.

He doesn’t just want us when we’re struggling or only when we’re happy,

He created us to live every bit of life & wants to interact with us throughout it.

Wisdom, even when shared in warning, isn’t always treasured

So handle with caution, be slow to anger as well as to speak.

Be quick to obedience of the Father, guiding you on the path that we’ve made crooked even though He designed it straight.

Don’t just sit and consume every pastor, priests, theologians, & wise man’ opinion of opinions.

Please pray, research, and persevere; never settling for anything less than the truth that you were made for.

As we go on in these Kingdom days in the midst of an evil influenced age,

Do your best to tune out the voices of the mad men rushing the Lord’s coming.

For the things their yelling at & under the heavens, they have no idea the magnitude.

For if they knew what would really happen, they might be quiet and quick to change attitude.

Refine me Lord that I may be pure outside and in,

For the only thing I want to look back at is so I can learn lessons;

No longer to crucify myself for the sins that I’ve been forgiven.

My identity isn’t a matter of actions or motions, nor is it defined by another person being in my life.

But you identify me as unique and a separate creation of your own,

May I never forget value is mine to own.

One last thing before I forget, for if I don’t write this I would truly need regret.

No matter what you’ve heard or been convinced of, God doesn’t live in a box or building.

He also doesn’t care about getting your coins or schillings,

He just wants to see & hear you for who you really are & live with you closely instead of from afar.

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PSALM 103

“Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
16 When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
17 But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who[f]fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
18 To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

19 The Lord has established His throne in the heavens,
And His sovereignty rules over all.
20 Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
21 Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
22 Bless the Lord, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the Lord, O my soul!”

Bloodshot Skies, Sunset Eyes.

While commonly we number the seasons we have at four,

I’m coming to the realization that in your whole life you experience a number of many more.

More seasons, seasons of both length & depth unexpected.

Some filled with emotion & events, some lifeless or even some made into a mess.

Even some where your order is reverse,

You’re hot when it’s cold, cold when it’s hot.

Clear & concise, it’s not!

 

Babel on, the land where my disenfranchised vocabulary has decided to reside.

More or less that is, maybe this is the place it’s chosen to die?

On the contrary, with every wall I hit

I seem to round the corner with a new sentence before my passion is worth less than spit.

 

With me, will you?

On the final day, at the end of it all, will you be with me?

Weeping out of empathy, smiling out of monotony.

A changed heart & mind, is as valuable as I’d imagine the perfect dress is to a bride.

 

Close the space between us, please come in.

My door has been open for so long,

Yet you still stand in the doorway insinuating my welcome to only be a sin.

A dirty lie, my words I’ve breathed out & into the air for you.

Calling them lie, ’tis not true.

Only if you’d believe me,

Then I may actually see you.

 

Waiting on a street, not for a bus or a person.

But some how, I know this is where everything meets.

On this pathway, laid before me

I behold.

A journey described & taken many different ways, but my two choices seem quite clear.

One step forward or one step back?

 

And here I stand, & I proclaim with my gaze locked ahead,

I’m moving forward.

 

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“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—

A time to give birth and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search and a time to give up as lost;
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8