You may be able to bench 500 pounds,
But yet when you look down a dark hallway you still shiver throughout your bones.
Is the size of your arms what determines your strength,
Or is your strength really found in the ability to trust?
Facing life alone, you’re an example of independence.
But on those dark nights when your loneliness is most prevailing,
Your strength is futile and you wish you had at least one person by your side.
But who, you ask.
Who could help me, who would?
Isolation in it’s truest form takes more work than it’s worth.
Constantly seeking a place of solitude, no outside noise, a place for “you” to be.
Then at night as you see a reflection in the mirror, is that me?
In the days of my youth, I laughed at those who complained of being alone.
Only to hide behind the hurt I had of most commonly being alone.
Darkness & loneliness are two of my oldest friends,
But I’ve finally seen them for who they are and they’re nothing but deceitful enemies.
I thought I knew who I was, I had some sense of me.
But it’s taken me twenty years & counting to even begin,
I’m not the person found lonely & consumed by the darkness within.
Abuse, addiction, anger; the unholy trinity of emotion & tragedy.
None of these will ever define me!
The truth I’ve found though in remaining me,
Is that I can’t be me without you.
For the best to be brought out of me, I need you here to help pull it out.
My weakness is found when I think I’m strong,
My strength is found in even when I’m very different I know I belong.
They’re not an excuse to be lazy or a crutch.
It’s just my aiming to be confident in meekness, instead of strong in my weakness.
You see I’d rather admit my need for others, live humbly, & act meek.
Instead of being a lone, arrogant, independent, angry, example of how to be weak.
I’d rather be a dark horse before being one of the herd,
But my newest way to help describe strength is interdependence.
Interdependence, depending on one another.
Not inner, while it is important to learn how to live on your own
Just don’t forget to learn you can’t live life alone.
“This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made earth and heaven. Now no shrub of the field was yet in the earth, and no plant of the field had yet sprouted, for the Lord God had not sent rain upon the earth, and there was no man to cultivate the ground. But a mist used to rise from the earth and water the whole surface of the ground. Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.The Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed. Out of the ground the Lord God caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Now a river flowed out of Eden to water the garden; and from there it divided and became four rivers. The name of the first is Pishon; it flows around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold. The gold of that land is good; the bdellium and the onyx stone are there. The name of the second river is Gihon; it flows around the whole land of Cush.The name of the third river is Tigris; it flows east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:4-18 NASB
The verse I want to emphasize is verse 18, which most commonly is used in reference to the blessing of marriage. While I fully acknowledge it’s original meaning is pointing towards the creation of Eve, Adam’s “helper” or wife, I also believe this verse can be a reminder of the importance of friendship. As we all know some people don’t get married, therefore if we’re to limit this verse to basically translate to “you need to get married” we are cheating & lying through our teeth! It’s hard to admit you need help, it’s terribly hard for me, but when I do admit it I don’t regret it.
In the end, this is my attempt at trying to impart wisdom to whoever may read this: Be yourself according to how God made you & never how others say you are. Be independent enough to be interdependent & admit when you need help, & never stop fighting for worthwhile causes. The norm or what is most acceptable isn’t good enough, diversity is both important & difference making.
This piece started out from inspiration of a few songs by the Hardcore band, The Ghost Inside.